If you shoot us, do we not bleed?

In my Line of Work, one gets to see and especially FEEL Mortality every Day. Luckily I've only died a few Times, and that was mostly because i traded one of my erstaunlich metal Bodies so that a fleshy Friend might live (Good thing he did, because i would have been very mad if the sacrifice was umsonst).

 Not so long ago, all these mechanical Bodies felt like their own "Person". Every bit of Equipment had, as they say, ein Soul. Not only did i feel Empathy towards something many would regard as a non-living Being, but i would give them Names and talk to them... HELL, even dropping my Wrench (Buzz) by accident got me saying " sorry mein Freund, are you alright?", and it's just a piece of Metal... needles to say it has a frowny Face on the Handle now.

 Nowadays, that is no longer the Case. I've been interacting WAY more then the usual "just on the Job minimum socializing". Things aren't as quiet and relaxing as before, but that may be a good thing in the long Run, having more Nuyen sure doesn't hurt, and taking a passing Glance at Red's hot Arsch every now and then keeps the Blood pumping.

  That being said, the lack of mechanical personification has led to a different View on things. I now feel that these mechanical Bodies are truly an extension of myself. While before i would be borrowing or sharing their Mind and Body, now i just feel as if they are no more than another Skin for me to inhabit.
This leads me to recent Events, where i experienced Death and the "Life flashing before deine Augen" Syndrome, in the destruction of one of my beloved Drones. It wasn't one of my best Babies, but it was like having one of your favorite pairs of Pants being thrown in the Fire, never to be experienced again... the same Way that is.

  With each Body, there's a new Sensation. Like a Mammal that experiences life as a cold blooded Amphibian. Hmm, now that i think about it, that would be verdammt interesting, i should find a way to do that when i get more Nuyen, or maybe even meet a fellow Countryman who happens to know a thing or two about "Wissenschaft!" and doesn't have a Bomb in their Cranium.

 In any case, i feel that, even thought i don't have the same Mentality as a few Months past, i still mourn the loss of one of my drones/bodies, named "Harten Jungen", and this journal might just help me cope with these sorts of Things.